Life, Work & Wonder

Tag: dailyprompt

  • Three Objects I Couldn’t Live Without (AKA: I See You Oxygen, Food and Water)

    What are three objects you couldn’t live without?

    As humans, we take things for granted.

    Heck, maybe all creatures take things for granted (the kitties seemed to get awfully bored with their toys and food after a short period of time unless there is variety).

    I’ve taken things for granted. And I sure as heck have been taken for granted (my high school girlfriend, college girlfriend and ex wife come to mind).

    So when I’m asked to name three objects I can’t live without, of course my mind goes to:

    1. Coffee. My life would be a lot more empty without coffee.

    2. iPhone. Not because of the doom scrolling or being accessible all the time, but because I just love sooooooooo much how I can fit every song and book and credit card I own along with a camera and notepad in my pocket all the time. I’ll never forget the first time I owned an iPhone in late 2011 — I couldn’t believe how much I could fit in my pocket!!!

    3. Money. It’s pretty hard to live without money. I don’t need a private jet or fancy house or a McLaren or an 8-figure investment portfolio, but it’s pretty hard to feed my family and keep our shelter serviceable without at least some money.

    But do I really need these things to live? Will I fold up and die without my morning and afternoon cups of coffee? Can I live without my music, albeit at a much less satisfying level.

    But wow oh wow it’s hard to live without food, water and (most of all) oxygen. Maybe someone could argue those aren’t objects, but they are physical so therefore I’d label them as objects. And I could not possibly live without them.

    We take things for granted. But I think if someone has lived with lung disease (like I have) where they’ve learned we can’t do much without lungs, been extremely thirsty where we’d do anything for a drink of water, or lived through a famine (so grateful I haven’t!) where we’re just so miserably hungry, then we’re certainly less likely to take oxygen, water and food for granted.

    Here’s to Oxygen. And water. And food. In that order. I will not take you for granted. And I’m just so grateful for you.

  • My Evolving Hobbies

    Daily writing prompt
    Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time?
    View all responses

    PROMPT: Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time?

    When I was young I loved bowling.

    Starting in 5th grade my friend Bill and I would walk every Saturday morning the mile or so to the Sunset Bowl lanes in Ballard, and we’d bowl a few games. I remember bringing home the scorecard each week and just staring at each frame of the scores, thinking about them, breaking them down, looking forward to our next week of games. I couldn’t sleep the night before a game, I was so exited. So it went for the next few years. I loved to bowl, and any time I was going to bowl (including the year in 7th grade when my friend Darryl and I joined a bowling league), I couldn’t sleep because I was so excited.

    I don’t remember how old I was when suddenly I lost interest in bowling. Was I 13? 14? It seems like one month I was eagerly bowling every week, and then suddenly I could care less about bowling. To this day, more than 50 years later, bowling is something I’ll do if friends want to, but I could care less about any of it and I’m always glad when it’s over and we do something else.

    So too it was with golf. In high school, I loved golf. Couldn’t wait to golf. Couldn’t sleep the night before a round of golf. Two or three times a week I went to the course, and when there was no one to golf with me I went by myself and would join random groups. Just like with bowling, I loved the numbers: when I’d get home each day after a round of golf I would break down my game, and at some point I had every score card filed away in my room. Was I good golfer? Not really. But I loved it.

    Then one day when I was a sophomore in college I was on the course with my friends Matt, and we were approaching the 7th green, and suddenly I felt sooooooo bored. And just like that I was done with golf. Yes, I golfed some times after that, and sometimes even had fun on the course with my family and friends, but I could care less about the actual game.

    And so it went. With bowling. Golf. Baseball. Basketball. Classic movies. Partying. Even dating. One moment I was totally into it, even passionate about it, and the next I could care less about it.

    In my 40s and into my 50s, I loved to talk to strangers. On an airplane I’d love to hear someone’s life’s story. In a bar, the random person next to me became my instant connection. I loved hearing people’s stories so much that I started reading every random memoir I could find, and even volunteered on the Crisis Line because it was another way to hear people’s stories. Now? Barely at all. I sit quietly on an airplane, don’t engage people on the street, and had to give up the Crisis Line because I was struggling with keeping interested in it.

    My life has been one of fleeting interests. Fleeting hobbies. Really into something I enjoy one day, and then totally oblivious to it the next.

    There are hobbies in life where I’ve retained an interest my whole life. I love to read. I love to write. I love analyzing data. I love to exercise. And I love mountain creeks.

    But there are more — sooooo many more — activities that are ultimately a passing fancy.

    It can be something I fret about. And I could strive to recapture the joy I felt in those fleeting interests. But, then again, why?

    I feel like the important thing is that I have things I enjoy now. At this moment. The what is less important than the whether. And ultimately I can remember and appreciate the joy I felt when I was going to do those things that I once loved.

  • High School Was The Most Secure Time Of My Personal Life

    Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.

    I’ll never forget the last week of eighth grade.

    I skipped (with my parents’ permission) all the eighth grade ceremonies. It was an incredibly sunny week. And I just felt so much relief that I never had to go to junior high school again.

    I think most Americans look back on middle school with less-than-warm-and-fuzzy feelings. For me, it was an especially hellacious time of life. I was a late bloomer, meaning I was the smallest kid in the class, which overall I didn’t mind except I played sports and although I was more coordinated than most kids I was always battling for playing time against coaches who preferred bigger kids. Being a late bloomer also meant I looked like a 4th grader in a sea of kids who had overdeveloped bodies, which made the social circle kind of tough. And I was also an extremely hyperactive and talkative kid, which basically meant all my teachers despised me. It was two years from hell, actually.

    When that last week of junior high school hit, I swore that high school would be a different experience for me. That I’d try to find a way to blend in more.

    Whether it was because kids were more mature in high school, or I’d figured out how to blend in more, my high school experience was a much better experience.

    I got decent grades. Had my fair share of playing time in sports. And kids more or less left me alone. I was just a regular kid who went to school for seven hours, did the bare minimum of homework to get Bs, and then really really enjoyed my after school hours.

    I read a lot of books (ironically, rarely ones assigned for school). Played a lot of games. Played a lot of basketball. And spent a LOT of time laughing with (not at) classmates and friends.

    Although my time in actual class bored the heck out of me, I loved those years. I had extra spending money from part-time jobs. I had my friends. And I didn’t have a lot of responsibility, not like in the adult years when life is mostly drudgery for anyone who is wholly devoted to their family.

    With the exception of maybe a year or two in college, I’d never again know a life like this. It was a wonderful time. And at graduation — when most of my friends were celebrating — I remember feeling pretty mixed, because I knew (from watching my parents’ burdens) that a good time of my life was closing.

    Life is amazing. And there are always pockets of joy within any phase of life. But it was actually difficult to say goodbye to that time of my life that included high school.

  • Dear Teen Self: Run!!

    What advice would you give to your teenage self?

    Dear Teen Rob:

    Run!

    Run (like hell!) from that young woman that approaches the you in the club several weeks a row before reeling you in. She is a narcissist wearing the guise of a charming person, and she will suck the joy (and money) from your life for decades.

    Run from Corporate America! They too will suck the joy from your life for decades to come. You’ll actually do surprisingly well in Corporate America until your 40s, but you’ll hate it. You’ll hate the waves-and-waves of bullshit and the politicking backstabbers and the job insecurity and (most of all) the sociopathic CxOs who run the joints.

    Run as fast as you can and don’t stop until you’re safely away. Then stop. Take a deep breath. And reeeeelllllllaaaaxxxxx. Life will be okay. You don’t have to rush. You’re going to live for many more decades. Don’t marry for awhile. Don’t have kids for awhile. Become the national weatherservice weatherperson you’re thinking about becoming. Or not. Maybe lean into the data analysis that you’re actually pretty good at and enjoy and then go find a government job somewhere where they don’t fire you and you have job security. Write the book(s) you want to write. Eat tacos from a taco joint for dinner every night. Play a lot of competitive softball centerfield, which you’ll find that you really enjoy, and less basketball, which brings you joy but also brings injury and stress for you.

    There is no magical formula to life. There is no plan to life. You don’t have to be married early. Don’t have to have a career job early. Don’t have to have a house early. Stop fretting about those things. Stop striving for those things. Keep your expenses low, put a little bit of money each month into a diversified stock and bond portfolio, and just work jobs you don’t mind working that pay the bills.

    So. Right now. Stop what you’re doing. And run. Run like hell. Then take a deep breath. And just slow the fuck down.

  • If I Want To Live Forever, I Need Only Attend Corporate Presentations From Hell

    What bores you?

    There is the saying that only boring people are bored. But is that true?

    I’ve found in life that I’m rarely bored when left to my own devices. There is sooooooo much to do in life!!!! So many books to read, magazines to peruse, films to watch, exercises to do, hikes to take, places to explore. If I lived a thousand years, I couldn’t begin to cross everything off my list that I’d like to do. So for me, the problem isn’t boredom but sometimes of feeling overwhelmed.

    For me, the only time I feel bored is when I’m trapped. When I was a kid, that meant sitting in class with teachers who dictated what we had to do, or sitting in a class (e.g. shop class) where I had no interest. As an adult, it’s corporate mandated trainings and meetings. Life is an ETERNITY when I sit in these meetings. I feel so bored. So trapped. I feel like if I want to live forever, I should just spend every day in a Corporate Presentation. But who wants to live forever in that way? That’s like an eternity in hell.

    Have I ever left a corporate presentation Zoom call or a training or a meeting where I thought, that was worth my time? Not that I can think of. But I do feel like time has slowed down and that the day was 10 years long.

    So I’m rarely bored when left to my own devices. It’s when I’m forced to waste my time in meetings where I feel trapped and bored. If I want to live forever, I’ll just spend the rest of my life going to corporate meetings.

  • For Me, The Best DIY Project Is No DIY Project

    Describe the most ambitious DIY project you’ve ever taken on.

    Spring 2001.

    I was in the midst of a major (and expensive) home remodel which involved improving the basement and actually finishing the top floor of a three story house. In the midst of all this, it was decided to also paint the main floor bathroom.

    I was 33. I had a lot of energy. I had a young family (two young children) with a stay at home parent (their mom) who needed every ounce of savings we could spare. So I decided to take on the painting of the main floor bathroom. It didn’t matter that for four years before this I had tried and failed at numerous home improvement projects that we ultimately had to hire to be rebuilt. This was painting. How hard could it be?

    For two nights, after work, after dinner, after story time and teeth brushing time and putting the kids to bed time, I went into the bathroom and I painted. I’d change my clothes, get the brushes etc.. I taped all the edges, and carefully carefully carefully rolled and brushed the paint on the floor. I don’t remember why it took so long, maybe it was because I put on two coats of paint, but I believe I painted for two days until 1am, perhaps eight hours in total. I’d go to bed exhausted, get up at 6am the next morning, put in another full (stressful) day at work, then repeat the process.

    When I was done, the bathroom looked — terrible.

    Truly terrible.

    I hadn’t taped properly so the paint edges looked like bright dragon’s teeth. There were drips all over the place where the paint had been too think so sweated down the wall. And the paint had been applied spectacularly unevenly where some spots were pretty bare.

    Despite my exhausting effort that cost me probably eight hours of sleep, we ended up hiring someone to re-paint the bathroom walls. In other words, my effort was a complete waste of time.

    I had to admit to myself, that no matter my intentions, no matter how many books I read or videos I watch, I am not a DIYer. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I’m just not good with tools or projects like that, in terms of aptitude, efficiency and skills.

    We like to say, where there’s a will there’s a way. But that’s not true at all. Just like there are lots of people in this world who will never run a 4.4 forty no matter how much they devote themselves to that cause, there are people like me who will never be a skilled or acceptable DIYer. My brain just isn’t wired that way.

    So, for me, I’ve learned that I can waste my time trying, or I can just pay the money upfront. So that’s what I do.

    For all this reasoning, I’d say my best DIY project was that bathroom since it showed me the mirror. But the truth is the best DIY project is — for me — no DIY project.

  • I Learned That When All Is Taken From Me It’s Coffee That I Miss Most

    What is your favorite drink?

    In 2012 my doctor suggested I give up a lot of foods I love. Just for six months or so, so not for terribly long. But still. It was a lot to ask all things considered.

    For more than a year I’d been mired in hell battling lung disease. I’d spent the better part of a month going through a myriad of doctor’s appointments and tests before spending a week in the hospital as they tried to diagnose what I had (spoiler alert: a very very rare disease with only a handful of known cases at the time). Then I’d spent six months on prednisone and other medicines to battle the disease. Then the real hell began: utter exhaustion as the disease and the doctor’s faded away and left me to pick up the pieces of what had been a normal life just 12 months earlier.

    Turns out all the prednisone I’d been on had created sensitivities to a lot of foods, many of which I love: breads (yeast), chocolate, most fruits and (aarrrgggghhhh) coffee among them. I was placed on a strict limited diet to decrease inflammation and to give my body a chance to re-set. This meant that I had to give up nearly everything I love to eat, including pizza, chocolate and coffee.

    What I learned from this experience is that you can take nearly everything from me, and what I most hated sacrificing was my coffee.

    I love coffee.

    I love waking up in the morning to a cup of coffee. Sipping coffee throughout the day. And a midafternoon espresso to give me a final boost.

    I love the smell. I love the feeling. And I love the experience of coffee.

    To take that away from me was very very hard. And I was so grateful when I was told it was okay to drink it again six months later.

    We learn how important things are when they are taken away. Lung disease cost me my ability to play competitive sports, the political ability (and desire) to thrive in Corporate America, and even my first marriage. But it was coffee that I missed most of all when I couldn’t have it.

    Here’s to life. And here is to life with a fresh cup of coffee.

  • Sincerity And Groundedness Rules All (My Favorite People To Be Around)

    Who are your favorite people to be around?

    For starters, humans are pack animals not herd animals.

    Take a pack of wolves and then a herd of deer. We don’t think of ourselves this way, but humans and human society are much more akin to the wolves than we are to the deer. We often don’t think so. But even the lowest of the low often have a pecking order within the pack they are trying to protect, or a wound they are nursing that keeps them on the periphery in some way. I think back to Marcy in grade school, who was a notorious tattletale to the teacher or the coworkers who reported to our boss that another coworker took a two-hour lunch while the the boss was out of town — that was unwittingly displaying pack behavior by protecting our order beneath the alpha.

    But there are people who aren’t this.

    They are the people at the social gathering who seem genuinely interested in our story although we’re not in a place to help them at that particular time.

    The people who bring by food when we are sick. Or who never ever say a bad word about us (gossip) to other people.

    Who give more than they take.

    They are sincere people. Genuine people. And caring people.

    I remember this woman named Jen. We were at a party and she remembered meeting me at a gathering two years earlier. She remembered my name, that I had two kids, remembered the details about those kids, and she spent 15 minutes asking me questions about everything and genuinely seemed interested. The sincerity, authenticity and kindness that coursed through her was so strong that it was palpable. Ten years later I can still recall how that felt, and also how she was like that with everyone else at the party. She wasn’t putting on an act and didn’t have an agenda – that’s just who she was. Later, I commented to (my now ex) about her and she said, “Oh yeah, that’s Jen, she’s just the kindest person. Everyone in our social club loves her.”

    I love these rare souls so much. How can the rest of us ever repay someone like that?

    We can’t.

    And those are my very favorite people to be around.

  • The Best Gift I Ever Received Was A Divorce

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  • Life Is Growth Of The Sole (AKA Yesterday’s Perfect Shoes Are Not Today’s Perfect Shoes)

    Tell us about your favorite pair of shoes, and where they’ve taken you.

    In 1997 I found the perfect pair of shoes.

    They were in the window of a small shoe boutique, and for me they were perfect at the time: not too expensive, very comfortable, very fashion forward, and could work with slacks or jeans. I purchased the shoes and wore them nearly every day for two years. I got lots of compliments on them and I loved them.

    In 2003 I found a different pair of shoes that I loved. They were Kenneth Coles and pretty tame in comparison to the shoes I wore in the 1990s. But at the time I was working in Corporate America, in a job that required many hours and my wearing slacks and a dress shirt during those hours, walking many many miles through airports and business centers while working those hours, and my Kenneth Coles were so comfortable they were almost like tennis shoes in a time before people wore tennis shoes with suits. Plus these shoes were easy to polish while watching TV on a Sunday, and had thick soles that made me appear on the north side of six feet (before I lost an inch or two to back issues 🙂 ), and I just loved those shoes so much.

    Today the shoes I love are my tennis shoes. I have a pair of bright Keehus that I loved, and a pair of Chlae Bradley high tops that I also love. Just like my beloved shoes from 1997, I wear them with jeans and I wear them with suits and they are very very comfortable to walk in. And since I have a pair of cloth overshoes I wear in the house, I rarely have to take them off during the day even though our house is a shoeless house (be gone, sidewalk germs!).

    Anyway, for me a good life is a life with personal growth. One where we are continuously evolving, learning, adapting, trying to get better (kinder and wiser). Normally, I strive for growth in the soul. But in this case, it’s growth of the sole 🙂

    I love shoes. I love comfortable shoes, I love fun shoes, I love adaptable shoes, and I love stylish shoes. I’m grateful for the fun (and affordable) shoes I’ve owned over the years.