Hmmm

You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence?

In another life I was a teacher.

And for some reason I thought it would be awesome for the kids to teach them, “Moby Dick.”

Who does that? Who takes a 17 year old high school student, someone who has their ENTIRE life ahead of them, and says, “I’m going to teach you Moby Dick!”

I did.

Those poor kids.

And to their credit they didn’t rebel. They didn’t mock me (at least not to my face) or refuse to read another word. Day after day they came to class, had a smile on their faces, rolled up their sleeves, and worked on their assignments.

I remember the last day of the unit. I thanked them for being patient with me through the book. That it had been a long slog but that they’d stuck with it and I was grateful for that (because students WOULD rebel if they don’t buy in to a unit or a teacher). Then we watched the movie, the one with Patrick Stewart. When the opening line of the movie was “Call me Ishmael” the students cheered.

That was one of the great moments of my teaching career. Because they had actually stayed with me during Moby Dick AND the powerful opening line to Moby Dick had actually stuck with them. Resonated (maybe) with them.

“Call me Ishmael.”

It’s such a great opening line. Simple. Direct. Even layered and symbolic (Ishmael also means “wanderer”).

For me, that is the great opening line of any novel, one that can be aped or matched but never surpassed. And, for me, when the students cheered when that line was said in the movie was one of the great professional moments of my life.

I’m asked, “What would be the opening sentence of your autobiography.”

And to that I’d say, first, there is no sentence I could ever write that would match that book. And, second, I can’t say anyone would ever care about my autobiography since I’m just an ordinary person who has had mostly an ordinary life:

• My dad was a banker who wore a tie, my mom was a CPA.
• I went to public schools in a mid-size city.
• I was mostly a B- student, I played sports but neither terribly good nor too terrible, I had some friends but no more than an average person.
• I’ve had a middling career that was neither terribly good nor too terrible. I know for a fact I was pretty exceptional at strategic sales early in my career, but am very mediocre at it since 2011.
• Now 50 I’m neither rich nor poor, and just like most 50 somethings am trying to figure out which side of the Hill Of Life I’m on (the up slope or down slope).

In short, I’m pretty average in every way. And that’s just fine by me.

So, I guess, my opening sentence(s) would be, “I’m pretty ordinary in every way. And that’s just fine by me.”